I feel like crap! As part of my campaign to escape depression, I've been cutting back on alcohol consumption. However, my mind and body have caught on and have rebelled. "NO YOU DON"T!!" they say, "We'll get you back on the bottle!" And all of a sudden I've drinking like a crazy man. And I wake up in the morning feeling like it too!! This just plain sucks. I'm beginning to think I might just have to quit drinking all together for awhile.
I can only hope that seeking a healthier lifestyle will be good in the end.
1 comment:
Darling you have no idea how I can relate to this post. Not recently mind you but the urge or temptation never fully goes away. I was an alcoholic. They say that once an alcoholic always an alcoholic and maybe thats true, maybe some of us just learn to gain control over it. I can go get utterly smashed with friends now and just go back to living the next day but it wasn't always so. For many years the only real escape or even time away was in a bottle. I couldn't/wouldn't say no and it was my first thought on waking. I went through a lot of crap and it was all I knew that numbed it even for a while. There are times when my mind wanders back. I can never deny it but thankfully now I can control it. Its like you don't want to so much live in the bottle as maybe take mini vacations in it. Thats how mine is anyhow. I'm not going to advocate drinking to escape but I will say one thing - as long as you still can control it - I don't see a bloody thing wrong with taking a night here or there and just getting falling down hammered. With me - it seems to actually give me a few minutes reprive and then the next day I can get back in the ring. That sounds utterly horrible doesn't it?
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