TMI Tuesday #5

I guess I need these questions to force myself to reveal things, to post on a regular basis, or something. I keep being drawn to them even if they aren't exciting to me.

1. If you were to face the Wizard of Oz, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart?

Oh, definitely more heart. That's been my theme for the entire past year, allowing myself to feel, to love, to connect with other people.

2. Have you ever gone to court for anything? What for?

Twenty five years ago. DUI and slugging the cop who pulled me over.

3. What was the last thing you did that you previously told yourself you wouldn't do?

????

4 Did you ever have a summer fling while on vacation?

I've had summer flings, but not necessarily while on vacation. They just happened to occur during the summer.

5. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone who's name you never knew?

Yes. Weddings have always been great opportunities to go out back with somebody for a little anonymous messing around. Weddings just get people going. One wedding stands out. One of my sisters got married and held the reception at a golf club. The putting green near the reception hall was so smooth and soft. The young woman that I was with on that putting green must have been a friend of my sister, or maybe the groom, or maybe she was the sister of the groom. I don't know.

Bonus (as in optional): What is the best way to mend a broken heart?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

Father

My father is dying. I called yesterday to wish him Happy Father's Day. He couldn't even finish the conversation. My mother had to take the phone out of his hands. My father and I have had a difficult relationship over the years. In a way I'm surprised that I feel the imminent loss so intensely. I've already cried three times this morning. That's three more times than I've cried in the past 30 years. On the other hand, I'm not surprised. While the relationship has been difficult, it has had moments of great intensity. Feelings have run high. I need to visit with him at least one more time.

New Boss

Had an interview yesterday with the guy who is likely to be my new boss come August. That's why I drank too much last night. I feel extremely uncomfortable with the prospect. He knows just enough about what I do to be truly dangerous. He's had a couple of successes and thinks he knows everything about my field. He is so wrong. I've been doing this for 20 years. I don't need a fucking ignorant asshole telling me what to do!!

TMI Tuesday #4 (for me)

1. What is the meanest thing you've ever done/said to a lover/loved one?

"I don't want to be with you any more."

2. Have you ever had sex on an elevator?

YES! We were in one of those elevators that goes up the outside of the building and is made almost totally of windows so that you can look out at the city below. It was night so we could see all of the city lights. We punched the stop button between the 82nd and 83rd floors. She grabbed the railing and bent over. Her denim skirt lifted easily. She had no underwear. The sex was sweet.

3. Have you ever lied about a rash and said it was a birthmark? OR Have you ever lied about a birthmark and said it was a rash?

No.

4. Have you ever had sex on a beach or in the water at a beach/pool?

YES! Both. Santa Barbara, CA during a plankton bloom. As we dove into the ocean, naked, the water sparkled bluish-purple around us. Then we discovered that if we caressed each other, the water on our bodies glowed. We did a lot of glowing after that.

I have a swimming pool and it has seen a fair amount of sexual activity.

5. How old are you? How old do you feel?

I'm 57. I feel 40. I think it's the martial arts that is helping.

6. Have you or your partner been injured so badly during sex that you/they had to go to the hospital?

NO.

7. Have you been to a strip club or "titty bar"? (Hooters does NOT count.) If so, did you get a lap dance?

I confess. I love lap dances.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a "blog crush" (i.e., a crush on someone, of whatever gender, that you haven't met in person but only know through their blog)? Who? (Link, please, if you dare!)

I have one right now. But she's married. So am I. It will forever remain a crush. Do you hear me Jeannie?

Disoriented

Still drinking. Not as much. But, still drinking too much. Am feeling disoriented, like I have lost my way. I have goals and things to do, but can't seem to get focused on them enough to make them happen. Little things frustrate me. Must focus on the good stuff. And there is plenty of good stuff. If this post seems disoriented and scattered I have adequately expressed myself.

Flowers

Taking pictures of flowers continues to be cathartic and healing. Capturing their beauty and uniqueness is relaxing and rewarding. I enjoy being able to carry them around with me instead of being stuck where they bloom. And sometimes, isolating them from their background can be good. They don't always bloom in the nicest of places.

TMI Tuesday #3

1. Should guys wear pink?

It's not so much "should" guys wear pink. I just think they should feel ok about wearing pink. I've seen some guys who look really good in pink. Hell, I've worn pink and have not felt any less masculine.

2. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?

Depends on what I'm kissing. No really, I can kiss with eyes open or closed. Both have their advantages. There are times when I really want to see what/who I'm kissing and there are times when I just want to get into the "feel" of the act.

3. What is the first "non-physical" feature you tend to notice about a person you find attractive?

Definitely their intelligence and sense of humor. Hopefully both are present in ample amounts.

4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?

Duh.

5. Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex?

YES!

Bonus (as in optional): If you could say anything you wanted anonymously to anyone, without identifying that person, what would you say?

This truly depends on the person. There are those that I have wanted to excoriate for a long time and would love the chance.

Then there are those about whom I've had some pretty graphic fantasies about what I would like to enjoy doing with them. Would it surprise you to know that these are sexual in nature? And again, I would love the chance to express my desires. Dare I even wish that they might share those desires and we could, like, wander off and....

CRAP!!

I feel like crap! As part of my campaign to escape depression, I've been cutting back on alcohol consumption. However, my mind and body have caught on and have rebelled. "NO YOU DON"T!!" they say, "We'll get you back on the bottle!" And all of a sudden I've drinking like a crazy man. And I wake up in the morning feeling like it too!! This just plain sucks. I'm beginning to think I might just have to quit drinking all together for awhile.

I can only hope that seeking a healthier lifestyle will be good in the end.