TMI Tuesday #3

1. When you orgasm, do you hold your breath?

NO. In fact I groan quite loudly. There is no doubt when I have an orgasm.

2. Have you ever had sex or played around with a celebrity?

All I've had is some wonderful fantasies involving a celebrity. Yes, wonderful fantasies. However, I can't imagine that the sex would be any better just because they're celebrities. I've had the fantasies because they seem to be a type of person I could really get along with.

3. Do you think prostitution should be legal? Why or why not?

Prostitution should definitely be legal. I don't even understand why it became illegal in the first place. It simply satisfies a basic need. And with legal status, health issues would be better taken care of. The women would, hopefully, be respected as productive members of the community. I confess, I've been to one of the legal houses in Nevada. It was a wonderful evening. The woman I was with was working her way through veterinary school. Good conversation, good sex.

4. How do you masturbate? Do you romance yourself? Get straight to the point? Read erotic material?

Fantasies are the primary stimulant for masturbatory arousal. My greatest pleasure (pardon pun) is to do it slowly. I read about lingam massage a couple of years ago and decided I'd try it on myself. Intense! Caresses just light enough and varied enough to maintain erection for around an hour or so, and then finish. By that point, the orgasm is truly powerful. Unfortunately, time is often an issue and a quick one in the shower is what I get.

5. Which gives you the most pleasure - intercourse, masturbating for/with your partner, being masturbated by your partner.

As much fun as masturbating is, intercourse definitely gives more pleasure, especially if I get to spend some time giving her orgasms from oral sex first. I get the smell and taste of her in my head and that is so arousing. I can't get enough of it! And I can still smell her when I'm inside of her and feel her soft wetness caressing my hardness.

Children do interfere with the opportunities to do this, however.

Oh, and I also love it when she jumps in the shower and masturbates me to conclusion on her tummy.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a crush on a relative?

Yes, I had a crush on my cousin when I was around sixteen years old. I used to feel guilty about it, but have since gotten over it. After all, I was only sixteen and crushes came easily.

We were all visiting at my aunt's house and that night I was standing out in the backyard enjoying the moon and stars which I often do just before going to bed. My cousin turned on the light in her bedroom and neglected to close the curtains. She had small but wonderfully shaped breasts and I couldn't stop thinking about them for days. I've sometimes wondered if she could sense what I was thinking about doing to her breasts and other spots.

If it didn't happen this way with the window and all, I doubt I would have thought about doing anything with her. She was very attractive!

HNT #2 Just Another View

What the heck, here's a view of the front of my legs. Didn't go quite as high this time. Maybe next time I'll get braver.

UP at 5AM

CRAP!!!! I'm up at 5 AM. Just what am I supposed to do when I'm up at 5 AM? I know, I'll post something!! Do a word association.

You say.... I say....

1. Film ::  camera


2. Dragon :: phoenix


3. Hunger ::  starve


4. Plucked ::  naked


5. Dissolving ::  pill


6. Executive ::  stress


7. Ridiculous::  funny


8. Mist ::  spray


9. Minority :: majority


10. Map ::  place

Now what the hell does that mean?

It does express how I view executive positions. Just a bunch of stress that I don't need.

I love maps. They do indeed give me a sense of place.

Whenever I see the word plucked I see the chickens I've cleaned for eating. They look pitiful. Hell, chickens are pitiful. But they taste good and so do their eggs. But stupid, oh my, they are so fucking stupid.

I do like mythological creatures like dragons and the phoenix. They have so much potential for bringing magic into my life.

I find myself extremely frustrated this morning. It's not just because I'm up at 5 AM. Being up at 5 AM is a symptom of being extremely frustrated. I'm getting a new boss at work and absolutely NONE of the candidates look like someone I'd like to work for. I have ZERO respect for the ones I've seen so far. And googling on the remaining ones has revealed some interesting "irregularities". I can't take working for idiots. I'm afraid I might have to if I stay where I am. It's time to start scanning the horizon for other opportunities. I really did not want to move at this point in my life, however.

TMI Tuesday #2

1. Have you ever used foods in your sexual activities (ie; whipped cream, syrup, popsicles) and how did you use them?

The predictable banana split using my erection as the banana. Banana split using her clitoris as the banana. The predictable cucumber used as, well, you know. Whipped cream just squirted on all the naughty bits. Then there's wine, preferably red, that gets licked off as it is poured. Can't get any of that on the sheets. Got kind of drunk licking one certain spot. Champagne. Hmmmmm, nice.

2. If your SO asked you to get them off using only your toes - would you do it and how?

I have massaged my SO's special spot with my toes. When I finally caught her clitoris between my first and second toe she went off like a rocket. Wow!

And then there's the times when eating out at a nice restaurant. That's gone both ways. I sometimes find my foot creaping up her leg and thigh to slowly explore under her skirt, eventually finding her wetness. Or she slowly slides her foot up my pants to press oh so firmly against my hardness, caressing it.

3. Would you ever participate in an orgy? Have you?

I have not. I WANT TO!!!!!!!

4. What can a lover do to turn you on instantly?

Bend over the kitchen counter and wiggle butt, especially if she's wearing a skirt or dress. I really like it when she bends over.

5. Describe your favorite piece of lingerie or undergarments on yourself or your mate. (PICS PLEASE!!!)

Commando please. But I did once wear fishnet briefs while having an erection and she responded. She RESPONDED! Man that felt good.

Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best orgasm you've ever had. ;)

I don't know how she did it, but she must have been doing her Kegel exercises. I had just orgasmed and was starting to let down when she started massaging my penis with her vagina and I came AGAIN. Approximately 10 seconds between orgasms and the second one was INTENSE!! She laughed. She did it deliberately. Please, someone, do it again.

My First HNT and maybe my last

Thought I'd try this at least once. The camera angle makes my calves look proportionately bigger than they are. But, over all, I think not bad for a 57 year old male.

Depression

That's a depressing thought, writing about depression. In recent conversation it has been discussed that depression may be because of what you think or perceive rather than what has happened to you. There are many events in life that you cannot control. You cannot control a bad boss. You cannot control the weather. You cannot control a spouse who abuses you. What will determine how you "feel" about various incidents is not due to the inherent badness of the situation, but how you react.

Example: if your boss fires you, and you think that it's because you've been a bad employee, then you are ripe for depression. You go home, mope, because you're BAD. You don't like yourself very much. You might then drink alcohol to feel better. Drinking alcohol makes you feel momentarily better, but then you can begin to feel guilty for drinking too much, and the cycle is off and running. Depression here I come.

On the other hand, if your boss fires you and you think, "that guy's an asshole and doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, it's certainly not me, I've given him the best years of my life!" You'll probably walk out of there angry and determined to find something even better. You may even be proud of yourself.

Simplistic, but it does make a lot of sense. I am beginning to think that I can "think" my way out of and away from depression.

TMI Tuesday #1

1. What sight, sound, smell, object or whatever most reminds you of a special someone?

Smell is very powerful for me. The only time I can smell her is when I'm close to her. Or her bath towel. Or, a discarded blouse. Her smell is both comforting and arousing. Without her smell next to me at night I have a difficult time getting to sleep.

2. Favourite body part/parts of the opposite (or same) sex?

Inside of the thighs is my favorite part. That part of a person's legs is always the softest and smoothest, and warm. It's a part that holds such promise because it is so close. My love of this spot probably goes back to the first time a girl let me slide my hand under her skirt. I remember hitting the upper, inside part of her thighs and just stopping because the texture changed so abruptly. I love kissing this part, letting my lips enjoy the smoothness, anticipating the next move.

3. Do you prefer to give or receive?

I prefer to give. It arouses me to give someone else an orgasm. The more the better. Then, I can receive freely.

4. One night stands- What's the protocol? Stay the night or get the hell outta there?

I've always stayed the night. Sometimes awkward in the morning, sometimes not, sometimes good.

5. What is the strangest place you've had sex?

This one is difficult. Could it be in that all window elevator on the outside of the building stuck between the 72 and 73 floors at night? Could it be the sand dunes near Lake Michigan in the middle of the afternoon? Could it be standing up in the hallway around the corner from the kitchen where her Baptist Minister Father was eating breakfast? Yes, definitely the last one.

BONUS: I lost my virginity on an old mattress up in the attic.

Sometimes I really have to wonder why I'm depressed. When I think back to some of the things I've done and the people I've known, I've lived a pretty rich life. It's been full of adventure, love, and passion. Ah, there's the key perhaps. I've left much of that behind instead of keeping it going NOW.

Would You Want This In Your Backyard?

Found this flower in my backyard. Interesting! I thought it properly reflected my mood this morning so am sharing it with anyone who stops by. It just looks so perky. And, maybe my depression is waning, at least temporarily. "Cuz I really did feel kind of "perky" this morning too.

And now for this week's free association. Saw my psychologist earlier, interesting conversation. Doing a free association here seems consistent with that visit.

You say... and I say...

1. Tumor :: Don't have


2. Bunch :: a lot


3. Gratitude :: thanks


4. Feel alive :: Yes!


5. Connect :: Sex and spirituality (they go together)


6. Temptation :: Bring it on


7. Brighten:: Sun


8. Jewelry :: Sparkle


9. Tough :: Hard


10. Harmless :: Good

Let the psychologists out there have fun. I seem to be feeling optimistic.

Fiftieth Year

The fiftieth year of our life is like
the last hour of dusk,
when the sun has set and one turns
naturally toward reflection.
In my case, however, dusk incites me to sin,
and perhaps for that reason,
in my fiftieth year I find myself reflecting
on my relationship
with food and eroticism; the weaknesses
of the flesh that most tempt
me are not, alas,
those I have practised most.

from Aphrodite by Isabel Allende

This poem really strikes a chord in me. I first read it in my fiftieth year. It still makes me think of all those lost opportunities, the chances to love someone left behind because of work or other pressures, the fast food when I could have sat down and truly enjoyed the good stuff. But then, I'm a long way from being done. Surely eroticism and food, the two most sensual things available to enjoy, can still play a large role in my life. Yes, there is something to look forward to. I love to cook, grill, smoke producing truly delicious stuff that makes everyone want to visit my home. I have not hugged my wife enough, but that will change.

Please pardon (or enjoy) my fantasy

My eyes are closed. I feel soft hands grasp my erect cock and hot breath close to its head. Then a tentative tongue links lightly down and up the shaft. Wet lips meet at the tip of the head and push slowly down, separating as my cock enters a warm mouth. Once the head is fully inside, the mouth pauses, but a tongue now swirls around my cockhead, and then starts concentrating on the spot just underneath. I feel my moan more than I hear it. The mouth starts moving again while the tongue continues to caress the bottom of my shaft and the head starts to rake across the roof of the mouth. When I hit the back, the mouth reverses and slowly pulls away, lips and tongue firmly caressing my cock until the ridge of my cockhead pops out of the mouth. The mouth starts to rock back and forth just popping the ridge in and out with the tongue making contact on the "in", all of it causing amazing pleasure. Then suddenly I am taken completely inside with a shock of sensation. Working steadily now, the mouth, lips and tongue work in orchestration with each other as my cock moves in and out, in and out. The pleasure builds and builds. I can feel my balls lift and my cock hardening almost painfully. I can feel muscles starting to clench. The mouth pulls back until just the head is inside and applies powerful suction with the tongue dancing on my opening. I SQUIRT! The mouths sucks and swallows. I SQUIRT! Suck and swallow. I Squirt. suck and swallow. i squirt swallow

Cute pink colon

I survived the colonoscopy. The night before was nasty. Had to make myself perfectly clean for the nice doctor with the fiber optic cable. Then, the next morning,I saw the cable. It was thicker than I expected and LONG. They used GOOD drugs. I don't remember a thing. The nurse with the needle said "hello" and then a different nurse said "hello" only we were in a different room. The pictures tell the tale, however! There, in color, is the interior of my colon, all smooth and pink and clean with nice rounded curves. Clean bill of health too! There is just a little bit of irritation around my asshole. Don't know if it feels like it was "the next morning". Haven't had that pleasure.

Questions Questions

1. Ideal amount of sex per week?
As often as I can get it up, which is actually pretty reasonable.

2. Ever had an online affair?
No, but I'm not attracted to it. Can't smell, touch, etc.

3. Are you a member of the mile high club?
No, but came close once on a 14 hour flight from hell with the exception of the cute asian girl I met and was making out with. It sort of reminds me of doing it in the car when I was a teenager.

4. Are you prejudiced against any particular group of people?
Prejudiced is too strong, but I do have preconceptions until I get to know someone.

5. What constitutes bad sex?
See below in the post titled "Victim?" One of these days I'm going to rant about that one.

Bonus (as in optional): Can females ejaculate?
Females can squirt during orgasm, but it is not technically ejaculation. The fluid is from the bulbourethral gland that gets squeezed out when all those muscles down there contract during orgasm. If the gland is full and the muscular contractions are sudden and strong, it can actually squirt.

Colonoscopy

One of the bummer things about getting older is that you have to start thinking about things like colon cancer. So here I am today, suffering through a clear liquid diet for the entire 24 hours prior to the main event. Can't eat anything! I'm drinking chicken broth, gatorade, plain water, strained fruit juice. Not much calorie content in there. As the morning wears on, I'm starting to feel a little hungry. But what the hell, I just might lose a little weight.

And the worst is yet to come. This evening I get to drink SUPER LAXATIVE. I'm thinking of setting up a cot in the bathroom 'cuz this stuff is so powerful that I will be completely cleaned out. I will no longer be full of shit, at least for a day.

And I'm doing this so that some guy, who I still haven't even met, gets to bend me over and slide his optic fiber cable up my ass for a look around. If he finds anything like a polyp, out it goes. If he finds cancer, I'm thrown into the hospital for emergency surgery. If he makes a mistake! And perforates my colon! I get immediate emergency surgery!! I'm not stressing over this at all. Probably shouldn't even be thinking about the stuff like I mentioned above.

This will be good for me. I will get a day off work and will go home to nap in the afternoon knowing that my guts are clean and pink, and that there is nothing for me to worry about. Hmm, I wonder if he'll remodel my asshole while he's down there. I wouldn't mind getting rid of those other signs of aging.